Parents Online
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The Net starring Sandra Bullock & My mom.
Mom: So, you remember Nancy, right? My friend Nancy?
Me: Oh yeah, how is she?
Mom: I don't know. We haven't talked in years. I tried to have your sister find her on the net but they don't know where she is either. Of course, I don't even know her last name anymore.
Me: So, you just searched for "Nancy" and the Internet had zero results? That's surprising.
Mom: I know, I couldn't believe it.
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Podcats? I don’t think I even want to know what that is. It’s probably disgusting. It sounds disgusting.

Mom

She misheard me when I was telling her about podcasts. She thought I said podCATS. I was going to tell her, but it’s just better this way.

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My mother thinks YouTube is essentially America's Funniest Home Videos.
[Showing her a video on my phone of my son singing a SpongeBob song in Lake Michigan.]
Mom: Oh my gosh. You should put that on the YouTubes.
Me: Why?
Mom: Don't you get a prize for the funniest video?
Me: No. Be honest, have you ever been on YouTube?
Mom: I haven't, but I get the idea.
Me: Actually, you're kinda right. There's not a prize though. Unless you count being the biggest jackass.
Mom: I do count that.
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Internet Permissions
Me: Can I put the stuff you say about the Internet on a website?
Mom: You mean internetally? And people can see it?
Me: Yeah, internetally.
Mom: Okay. Sure, hon.
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Mom Defines The Internet

This is a very special post for opening day. I asked my mother to define some popular sites based on their names. Don’t worry, I won’t post twice a day any more.

Tumblr: Maybe where you go in and make money by tumbling? The Internet is weird.
Twitter: Is that a jokes site or a site where you tweak someone?
Myspace: Tell stories about yourself and family.
Facebook: Pictures of yourself.
Flickr: No idea. Sounds like you’re flicking through things. Maybe a book thing?
Vimeo: That doesn’t even make sense. That’s not a word.
YouTube: I’ve seen that on the news. You put videos of weird things on that.
Last.fm: Maybe a joke site. There’s a lot of jokes sites, huh?
LinkedIn: Probably where you go in and find things with links.
Google: I’ve heard of that on TV. That’s where you google things. I don’t know what google means. Probably selling things?
OkCupid: Cupid…sounds like a way to find a date. If you’re not good at finding dates. Like if you’re ugly.
Stickam: To me it sounds like you’re sticking up notes for people to find things you want them to see or ask them for help.
Yelp: For funny things about animals? Like funny cats and things.
Craigslist: I’m tired can you stop asking me questions now? I’m sorry. I just need to nap.

I then told her what they all were actually for. She said, “Mine were better.”