September 2009
1 post
4 tags
August 2009
11 posts
4 tags
The Net starring Sandra Bullock & My mom.
Mom: So, you remember Nancy, right? My friend Nancy?
Me: Oh yeah, how is she?
Mom: I don't know. We haven't talked in years. I tried to have your sister find her on the net but they don't know where she is either. Of course, I don't even know her last name anymore.
Me: So, you just searched for "Nancy" and the Internet had zero results? That's surprising.
Mom: I know, I couldn't believe it.
2 tags
“Can’t you send things to other people on the Internet?”
– Mom
She’s gettin’ there, folks.
4 tags
Money laundering with Dad.
Me: I transferred the car payment to your account today.
Dad: Oh! That's what that was. I thought someone accidentally put money in my account.
Me: Did you call the bank to report the error?
Dad: It's not an error if you need it.
Me: That's dishonest!
Dad: What do you think online banking was invented for?
Me: Nigerian princes?
Dad: Huh?
Me: Never mind.
5 tags
“Podcats? I don’t think I even want to know what that is. It’s...”
– Mom
She misheard me when I was telling her about podcasts. She thought I said podCATS. I was going to tell her, but it’s just better this way.
5 tags
“What are you gonna do with that picture? Put it on your blag?”
– My father
He loves blagging. Blags are his favorite.
6 tags
My mother thinks YouTube is essentially America's...
[Showing her a video on my phone of my son singing a SpongeBob song in Lake Michigan.]
Mom: Oh my gosh. You should put that on the YouTubes.
Me: Why?
Mom: Don't you get a prize for the funniest video?
Me: No. Be honest, have you ever been on YouTube?
Mom: I haven't, but I get the idea.
Me: Actually, you're kinda right. There's not a prize though. Unless you count being the biggest jackass.
Mom: I do count that.
4 tags
Sound Advice From My Father
Dad: You should get one of those homepage sites that lets you sell things.
Me: eBay?
Dad: Yeah, that might work.
4 tags
“You gotta reboot your Internet to get the *newest* webs.”
– My father on reloading webpages.
4 tags
Internet Permissions
Me: Can I put the stuff you say about the Internet on a website?
Mom: You mean internetally? And people can see it?
Me: Yeah, internetally.
Mom: Okay. Sure, hon.
5 tags
Mom Defines The Internet
This is a very special post for opening day. I asked my mother to define some popular sites based on their names. Don’t worry, I won’t post twice a day any more.
Tumblr: Maybe where you go in and make money by tumbling? The Internet is weird. Twitter: Is that a jokes site or a site where you tweak someone? Myspace: Tell stories about yourself and family. Facebook: Pictures of yourself. Flickr:...
“Yeah, Kitten. I sent you an email. It’s a humorous email. It’ll be...”
– Voicemail from Dad